Where do I start with this ride – there is just soooooooo much to tell and so little time so I will have to just tell you the funniest moments and I can tell you they were well funny!
It was just Annette and I (the hard core bunnies – well one of us is) and I must say it started so well but just ended up going downhill – excuse the pun.
We met at the art gallery for my first 50.5 km ride and part of me was really looking forward to it until I realized that I had planned the ride the wrong way around and I was going to hit plenty of hills…
Annette was wearing a red t shirt with "Sarcasm, is just one more Service I offer..." but when she had her safety vest on the words ‘sm’ stuck out to me and being one of oh such a filthy mind, I thought it looked like orgasm so that kind of set the scene for the rest of the day...
We had not got even out of Gosford when we came across a somewhat beautiful Nigerian runner who was zig zagging across the footpath making it impossible for us to pass. After looking at his delicious butt for a long time Annette rang her bell (rang her bell, ring my bell, ring my bell...) a number of times before discovering he had an ipod in and then decided to shout woohoo – he turned with this gorgeous smile and we both fell in love!!!!!!!!!!!
Giggling as we cycled past him, he had unwittingly set the scene for our daytime adventure.
Blah blah blah blah – the usual bike scenes with me complaining about the hills and Annette full speed ahead.
Then we hit Ocean View Drive (and I still can’t get up that hill at the end), [edit by Annette: Oh yes you can! you rode to the top remember :)] onto The Entrance Road where TRAGEDY hits – Annette gets ball cramp – no she is not a hermaphrodite – I mean the ball of her foot! What a comedy that was with Annette running up and down the pavement with her shoe off. At one point I asked her if she wanted to put her foot up on my seat and stretch out her legs and then we had visions of her swinging her leg onto the seat and whacking me in the head so hard that I fall back onto the road and get taken out by a truck and then Annette looking up and not realizing that I have been splattered - we laughed our gorilla bums off I can tell you.
Cycle Cycle Cycle, up the hills past the Prado drive out onto Chittaway Bay with no major mishaps, falls or breaks. Then we get onto Enterprise Drive and I must admit that this was the most enjoyable part of the ride – it was really smooth sailing apart from being nearly hit by a truck and dying of starvation. By this point we had been going for nearly 3 hours and had not had a sugar break so we stopped outside Ourimbah Rugby Club where we got really stupid...
Still thinking about our Nigerian cyclist we had visions (some of them rude and unrepeatable) about meeting him on our way back; jumping him and being taken away in a paddy van and then sent into bunny detention before we were deported. The Australain authorities denied our existence and Annette and I were put on a plane back to England and Sweden and our families notified – you had to be there it was hysterical!!
As we devoured our sugary snacks I noticed that on the label it said ‘may contain pit fragment’ and as we had been talking about delicious Nigerians decided this meant fragments of Brad Pitt, who would start to come out my mouth whole as I cycled home – too much District 9 I think – 'Don’t you point those tentacles at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' (Noelle and Janine should get this one)
We carried on up the hill where I nearly went arse over tit as I tried to cycle through some gravel and then waved to Matt as he drove past without any offer of help.
It was at this point that my body decided NO MORE!!!!!!! NO MORE!!!!!!!! I’m TIRED AND I WANT TO GO HOME
I really was over it by then especially when I got cramp and couldn’t stand up riding up hill – calling into Dr Dean at Narara Medical Centre was a real option for me but I couldn’t see his car so on we cycled
Back to the Gallery and I walked the last hill as my aching body gave way to the airplane effect – why could I not walk properly and why was my bum so numb? – oh yes I had just ridden for 4 hours.
Marathon effort and mostly heaps of laughter
Amanda :)
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